Dear Nad,
When my partner and I moved to this strange new city into a small apartment of five people, you were the friendliest, most honest, and easy to get along with. We went out, saw theater productions, cooked, watched movies/TV shows, and even decorated our apartment for Christmas together! We bonded on how much we hated our roommates and landlord. We had introduced you to our friend, who is now your bride-to-be! Eventually, we decided to move into another apartment together. That was when things went downhill, wasn’t it?
Looking back on our almost 9-month friendship, I really wonder what had happened to make our relationship so short-lived. I guess it could only be explained by our fundamental differences. How could I not see it before? The 15+ years of age difference between us, perhaps? Or maybe because you’re a sales manager, making the six digits income, while I work from home (which you consider “unemployed”)? You’re able to afford fancy dinners and take-out meals, while I enjoy shopping for food, cook, and eat. You have fancy suits, while we’d rather spend money on travelings and experiences. We are in every ways the opposite. I didn’t think that any of these differences were a problem. Apparently, you did. I suppose living together is a whole different ball game from being roommates.
I am thoroughly shaken up by our last fight that had ended in angry, hurtful, and cold words. I can’t just be like you, and act like it doesn’t matter. I have always been the ones who reached out to you, to hang out, to talk about our issues, to ask you how everything is going… always the first one to put out. Even to the last minute, I had tried to reach out to you, tell you that I’m feeling hurt that you cared less about our friendship than we did, telling us that none of this mattered.
Friendships takes work, and if you’re the one has expectations, you probably won’t get very far. Still, I should thank you. In the end, I have learned a lot from our unfortunate relationship.
Good luck to you.
Winta
05/29/17
Dearest Nerual,
It’s not you, it’s me. I have a quick temper and a self-righteous mind. I rarely apologize or meet halfway when I think I have been wronged. I recognize that as my flaw, and am trying to repair it. I don’t connect with people as well as I’d like to- socially challenged you might say. You know that about me. We used to be best friends, making terrible jokes, sneaking off to check out another city, spending time at each others houses, watching movies together, talking about boys, and harmless gossip. I’ve learned so much from you. You taught me what “punch buggy,” meant and took advantage of my lack of knowledge to beat me at the game, which it incredibly unfair. I’ll have you know I’ve learned to get much better at it.
There are no years quite like the high school years. It was before I had the freedom to do anything, and you had showed me the joys in life. Your life was incredibly different from mine. We each had our own family problems. I loved your family like my own. I was upset when you were upset, and happy when you were happy.
I’m not exactly sure what went wrong, but if it’s what I think it is, then I can’t believe I let some small fight and bad temper get in between our years of friendship. Over the years, I’ve made several attempts to reconnect with you, but was gently shut down. We have both moved on since. You’ve relocated and had made a career out of your dreams. I’m only sad that I am not in the picture. I miss you a lot. I just need to realize that some things need to be fixed right away, or you can’t turn back time. I wish you all the best.
Winta
A Blog Response to Daily Prompt: Bitter
your mind asked you to post the letter….and you posted it here….how will it reach the destination….the destination has to come till here….
I wrote this to give myself some sense of closure. I’ve also considered sending it to my friend, but I’m worried of getting my hopes up to get shut down again. What do you think? Thanks for reading! <3
Nothing..your friend is waiting for such letter….go ahead….
Thank you for your kind advice. I doesn’t seem like she was waiting for that letter for she had ignored me. At least I have my closure.
They say…ignorance is bliss….
I’m a lot like you in terms of being impatient and stubborn. I never run after people and am usually the first to walk away. A lot to relate to, just try and remind yourself that you meet and lose people continuously and those that stand by you, stand by you for a reason. Those who didn’t…same thing.
Thanks so much for your kind words! I often wish I could change my personality as I feel that I drive people away with it. Destined to be a loner, haha. I’m so glad to find someone who can relate. I wrote this letter to give myself some closure. That is wonderful advice, I will keep it in mind. <3
Don’t mention it 😉 I really don’t think you should try and alter your personality (of which I got to know a teeny weeny bit from reading your pieces), because there is nothing wrong with it. To be super direct, I think it’s one of the reasons why readers, like me, enjoy your content so much, other than your innate talent of course. And hell naw you’re not going to wind up alone, that’s one’s obvious to me. Take it easy, you’re perfectly perfect as you are now.
It feels great to have someone who relates. I’ve spent the longest time wrestling with my what-ifs, and I feel lighter letting it all out.