Reflections: How to Handle Pain and Regain Self Confidence
With the passing Lunar New Year, it is a good time as any to write a reflections post.
The last year has been particular hard as I have started a new job. My job has given me more opportunities that I have ever had. I experienced new freedoms and finally had what I had always dreamed of having: traveling :). I had enjoyed multiple business trips all expense paid for, day and night difference from my usual budget travels. Because I was so busy and enamored with this new job, I did not expect the fall that was about to happen. On the flip dark side, I have also encountered (emotional) challenges that shattered my core. I realized that my faith and value in myself is only as good as the words that I hear. I cried, ruminated, complained, meditated, journaled, confided, complained, and rode the roller coaster. I fought and came to terms with bitter unfairness of corporate life.
Time cures all pain, though even as I write this post, I struggle to avoid rumination.
The golden nugget I took out of this is the following advice from my mom: I can tell work how I feel, and it’s their problem if they listen or not. Then, I need to do my job the best that I can do. I am true to myself and this is who they hired. If I want to keep my soul whole, I need to detatch myself from the source of this toxicity. The four agreements, it is not my problem if they don’t agree with me; I will not take it personally. I learned that I can work on standing strong with confidence in myself. The value in myself cannot be affected by others if I am confident in myself.
I am embarrassed that I have let an outside force. However, I’m grateful that I have people around me who helped in different ways. I’m grateful for my mom, husband, and siblings for talking me through my unstable emotions. I am also grateful for my work colleagues who helped me. It made me feel that I am surrounded by people who will take care of me.
I am not working in an ideal work environment, which is stressful in itself. I am curious how this will pan out in the next few months. All I know is that I will live with integrity, and make my mom proud!
This is a bit sad for a reflections post and I am hesitant to share, but I think sad reflections are even more meaningful. It proves that life is full of ups and downs. Getting through hardship brings out wisdom and growth in life.
As they say, suffering stems from Expectations, and with a bit of time and reflection, there is no better wake up call to reorient what’s important to me.
Check out my previous reflections here:
In other news, here are some things I’ve been working on:
- Reading:
- Stuff: Compulsive Hoarding
- Unlimited Memory
- Are you there Vodka, it’s me Chelsea
- Art of Happiness
- Meditation and Yoga daily
- Keeping organized with my Rocketbook
- Getting ready for my birth month coming up. A big milestone and I want to celebrate it with loved ones.
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